deaneggsandsam:

when u sneeze in front of your pet and they look like you’ve just offended their great ancestors

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summonerjolan:

brommunism:

remember that once in the late 70’s a face character for pooh at disneyland was accused of hitting a child in the face on accident and so the dude came back to court after the recess in the pooh costume and answering the questions as pooh and fucking danced in the courtroom in order to prove that the arms were too high up to hit the kid and he was acquitted within 20 minutes

That’s some Phoenix Wright shit right there, I swear

stability:

theperksofbeingbeyonce:

stability:

Running seems like a great idea until you actually start running

Sex seems like a fun idea until your bent over a bar stool in the back if a club your too young for about to be plowed by a tall dark man named Mike

i feel as though we’ve had different experiences

co-ver:

Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies. For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

prublems:

my self esteem drops faster than my battery life 

jathis:

cartel:

walking into the wrong class

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THAT OWL LOOKS SO FUCKING

BEFUDDLED

californstar:

My anaconda don’t wanna go to class tomorrow

sorry, my mom said my anaconda can’t

posted 1 week ago - 6,300 notes via poopdartsamegaku)
, ea  !!!!!  

eiyunoitakuni:

narutos-dick:

trenchgun:

“Uwaaah! I’m gonna be late!”

I’m Obama Barakku, 47 years old! Starting today, I’m gonna be a president!

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THIS IS EVEN WORSE